i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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