I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
did you just send me my own nude
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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