She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
