just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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