Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
