Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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