I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
