whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
