i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
