Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
