Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
