That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
