I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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