Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
