I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
