Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
