if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
