Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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