i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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