I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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