This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Cover your peen. We're going out.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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