ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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