Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
my liver is dry heaving
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize