their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
