come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
