sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
