honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
