unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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