I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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