dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize