apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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