Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
