Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Everything about him screamed your future.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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