Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
