I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
