Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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