dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize