Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
