just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
