so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize