it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
