i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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