Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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