They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
