Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize