Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i out mim tonsoeep
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
