I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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