Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
