is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
