why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
