i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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