so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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