nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
