I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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