this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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