if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
