my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
