I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
