i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I don't deserve a penis
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
