if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
