She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Randomize
