Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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