Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize