We're facebook friends in real life
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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