I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize