cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
