As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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