i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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