so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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